Monday, August 3, 2009

Labor of Gratitude

I looked at my cell phone; it was 12:01 am Monday August 03. I had put my head on the pillow and tried to fold my hands in prayer but they wouldn’t go together. I laid in bed as I continued to experience the strangeness and questions why my hands couldn’t grasp each other and why my day wouldn’t end? As I starred into the darkened room, and noticed the moon light through the window, my mind began to reflect on the last few days. I recalled getting a text at work, about 6 hrs into my shift at Premier Bankcard. It was Clark telling me they were putting him in the hospital in case they needed to do a liver transplant. My eyes got big, I put my phone a little closer to see well. I looked at the text again and it was really true, Clark had sent me message beyond belief. I trembled and slowly walked into the office of my supervisor to tell her what I had just learned. Lovingly she told me to leave and go do what I needed to do, that she would see to it that I could be away from work to travel to Utah. I hustled home, did as much as I thought I could to prepare for the time I’d be gone, and at 8:30 that night, headed west to Utah. As night fell on our travel, my thoughts didn’t want to admit the reason I was in the car and heading to Utah to be with Clark. This just couldn’t be true!

The past few days had been hard riding on this roller coaster. As I continued to be restless in bed, the tears soon began to moisten my pillow. My breathing became heavy, and I knew then why my hands wouldn’t fold in prayer. I still had work to do. I recognized I had given Clark life. I carried him in my womb and I labored to bring him into this world, but my laboring wasn’t over. This time my labor and contractions had to come from my heart. I knew Clark had to be given life once more and I couldn’t be the one to do it. My heart physically became heavy and it wept. I took time to clearly define these pains. My eyes continued to weep, my lips quivered, and I cried out loud in pain. I knew that anytime my cell phone could ring with the news that a liver had been donated for Clark, and that a life was lost so that Clark could live. How grateful I am!

After some time in this darkness and after realizing how quickly our lives can change or be taken, I reminded myself to live each day as if it was my last. And that the next night my head goes on the pillow, to be sure I have no regrets for my day’s actions. Peace soon contented me and I was finally able to fold my hands in prayer, but this time on my knees.

I would ask each one of you, to take a minute to look at your driver’s license and be sure that you have checked the box listing you as an organ donor. Thank You…

8 comments:

Taylor Gardner said...

Wow, Rhonda. This is so beautifully written and with such deep emotion. I can imagine how difficult this must be for you as a mother. It is obvious how much you love Clark, and your being here with him is helping the healing, I'm sure. Thank you for so eloquently sharing these thoughts. We can all learn from them!

Susi said...

Rhonda, as a mother who has walked a very, very similar path with Adriann I just want you to know that I realize the strength and energy that is required in times such as these. You are strong, like me. You will see Clark and your family through this and the Lord will provide you with insight to Clark's needs. And when it is all over and Clark's health has been restored...you will sleep for a month. Like us, you will have your miracle and the peace that comes with it. Adriann overcame the odds 3 years ago when the doctors said to "prepare ourselves for the worst." Clark is woven from the same cloth. These things come our way so that the glory of the Lord can be seen by the world. He knows that you can do this...and, so do I. We love you all and lift you up in prayer.

Karla said...

Good Morning Rhonda ~

Words only a MOTHER could write... thoughts that come from the very center of your heart! Thank you for sharing these middle of the night moments after the chaos quiets and you are briefly alone with your thoughts and reflections.

I have proudly been an organ DONOR for years. I truly believe that it is by God's hands that modern day medicine has been divinely inspired to find a way to make the death of a loved one (donors) count for something miraculous beyond their mortal lives. Not only will Clark be the recipient of a liver, but cornea's, lungs, heart, kidneys and skin will also be gifted to others who have Mother's like yourself who are walking that path of unconditional love and fear for their child and at the same time humbled to your knees by the miracle that these gifted doctors will be doing to help make Clark whole again.

I will be praying for Clark, and for you, your medical team, and blessing the family who makes this contribution to Clark.

Thank you again for sharing your most intimate thoughts and making this so personal to all who read, that we must take action on whatever level we are able. It truly does take a village to make a miracle.

God Bless you Rhonda...
Love and Gratitude,
Karla (Kate's Mom)

Karla said...

Kristin and family,
I'm praying for Clark. what a scary thing to happen i am going to donate blood tomorrow in clarks name thinking of u all

claudia mills said...

Dearest Rhonda & family, Our Love & prayers are with you & Clark at this time. We want Clark to get better & come visit us again in Washington. We had a wonderful time when you all came to visit us. Your written words came from your heart. We know Clark is in the hands of our Lord & Savior. Remember our miracle of our surviving the truck wreck in South Dakota. I know there will be other miracles. Our thoughts & prayers are with you right now.
Blessings,
Bobby & Claudia Mills

Jo said...

my prayers go out to you

good luck with everythng

Eric & Kate said...

Rhonda...That was amazingly written. Thank you for sharing your experience. Love You Lots!

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