Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Constant Reminders That You're Gone

I can cook fish anytime I want.
If I drop food on the ground, I have to pick it up.
I'm usually in bed by 10:30pm.
I'm behind on celebrity status'. I just learned what "JB" stands for.
I wonder how the bishop's doing?
Mail! Mail! Mail! Bills! Bills! Bills!
I closed your bank account this week.
I have fewer emails because of fewer comments on the blog.
Little to nothing to blog about.
Blog traffic is down 68%. Surprisingly it still gets over 100 hits a day.
I have a fridge full of purple G2, a pantry full of oatmeal, and I dumped out a whole jar of yogurt today.
I'm the new owner of a WII, an IPhone, a bottle of cologne, and a recliner.
Cell towers are everywhere.
SASH - Saline Antibiotic Saline Heparin
Facebook says it's been awhile and wants me to reconnect with you.
Willow says she saw you in heaven and you were happy.
I'm in communication with several people wanting to do news stories.
You now have an anniversary of death. June 11, 2010. Over a month already.
I haven't watched "Let's make a deal" for awhile.
They're building a Chick-Fil-A in the Meadows.
"I'm sorry to hear about your brother."
Your smell is still in the basement. Fading.
I have no use for an IV pole, a shower chair, or a blood pressure monitor.
I almost wrote your name on the temple prayer role, twice.
I love my new houseplants.
I hung a picture of you on the fridge, right next to dad's.
I went swimming, sat in the sun, and dug in the dirt, all in the same day.
While in Willow's room, I could hear Kellen talking on the phone downstairs, from his office.
I'm buying up everything "Superman" that I see.
I call your phone sometimes just to get your voice mail and hear your voice. Ironic that your message says, "Sorry that you've missed me." Most people say, sorry I missed you. But you got it right. I miss you!
Oop, just called again and it's now been disconnected. One more thing to miss.

25 comments:

Karla said...

Kristin~
I know we werent that close and havent even really talked in years but most of the time I feel like im right next door in every possible way. I cried as I read this I usually check the blog everyday judt to make sure its not a dream. thanks for sharing our thoughts.

Matt and Tami said...

Kristin, you dont know me, but I have followed Clarks blog from the beginning and still follow it.. I feel as if I know your family and felt alot of pain for you when Clark passed. I cant imagine what you are going through.. Especially after having him live with you for so long and taking care of him. You are an angel and this world needs more people like you. You look young and I admire what you have done. Im 26 and not half as strong as you. You put your life on hold and gave him your all.. I truly look up to you. Thank you for this blog. God bless you...

Tami D.

Matt and Tami said...

And I will continue to follow this blog until the day you quit writing in it.... I will never forget you guys.

Nancy said...

I knew Clark best his 8th grade year (as his teacher). We reconnected over the years, but not many times. Sitting at his service in Watertown, I was glad to hear, he was the same guy I knew and liked so much... He is/was Unforgettable! I miss him, too.

Nancy Weber

Anonymous said...

I will always and forever think of Clark and your family. There is not a day that goes by that I don't. Where I work I constantly see Superman items and I instantly think of Clark and the Kimble family and say a silent prayer. He will be forever missed and yet forever loved.

Tanizha Berg

Anonymous said...

Kristin

I have been thinking about you in particular for the last month. Knowing how hard it must have been to return home without Clark. To have his things and miss the caring for him. I am one of those people that continues to check the Super Clark BLOG. I will forever think of the Black Eyed Peas - Tonights Gonna be a Good night as the Happy Liver Dance Song. I have it on my MP3 player in my workout playlist so I hear it often. I have a post-it note on my desk at work that says LIVE SUPER! Because I want to be reminded to live with the same courage and strength and faith that Clark demonstrated this last year. I am donating blood next week.... I will think of Clark everytime I donate blood. Right now the memories are so hard, but that is just Clark remaining with you in your heart.

Carol

Rachel said...

please know that over time it gets easier .. i cant say better but easier. my son died when he was just 5 and 1/2 months old. It;ll be 3 years next thursday and i still miss him like crazy. atleast you have so many memories to remember clark by, those plus pictures and my little girl are what keeps me going. stay strong and always remember you'll be with him again someday !!!

Anonymous said...

Kristin - I have thought of you, Clark, your Mom and the whole family everyday since June 11th and you are always in my prayers and thoughts each day. I am one of those that checks the blog everyday. It is a part of my morning routine and I just cannot let go of that connection to you and Clark. Almost everyday one of my co-workers or friends asks me about the Super Clark T-shirts and when they are going to be available. I changed my screen saver at work to Live Super and keep the Super Clark picture in my desk drawer and on my refrigerator so that no matter what problems I face I know I can meet them with the grace, wisdom and courage that Clark demonstrated for us. Clark, you and your Mom have inspired and touched so many, with your beautiful words like this one - that you have changed mine and so many others lives for ever. He may be gone, but his heart, spirit and beauty lives on in you, your family and thousands of others.
Love, Aunt Marilyn

Anonymous said...

Your post made me cry. I can only imagine the way your heart aches. Clark was an amazing person and I am so blessed to have known him, even if only for such a short time.

-Brittany Herbert

Anonymous said...

This is so incredibly beautiful. And heartfelt and honest and raw and pure. I have followed Clark's story for so long now that I feel like I know you all, when in fact I am just another one of the countless "stragers" out there who have never actually met you but have prayed for you as if you were family. I cried myself to sleep the night that Clark passed and still think about him - and all of you - very often. Stay strong and hold tight to the sights, sounds, and smells which still keep him close in your heart. And don't stop blogging! There are still many many fans out there who would love to hear how all of you are doing :)

terri said...

Kristin,
You have a gift for sharing the thoughts of your heart in a way that touch others. What a journey you have been on...a hard road to travel. Thanx for your example of living super. Just wish Grampa Purles and I could be close to make new memories more often.
love, Grama P

T + 2 said...

Your family remains in my thoughts and prayers. How blessed we are to KNOW that families are forever, and that that this was not "goodbye", but merely "see ya later".

Susie Stroup said...

Oh Kristin, this brought tears to my eyes. I admire how open-book your family is; so willing to share the good, the bad & the ugly. Thank-you for that. It is so wonderful that you let others inside this journey & let us all learn & be inspired too. Of course there will be a million more things that you will miss throughout the days ahead & as you try to get back to "normal".. lean on your failth & each other. I will continue praying for you all.

Jena Davis said...

Every time I pray, I make sure to send a prayer up to Clark because I know he can hear me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this blog - I still check it to see how you and your family are doing, and just to remember Clark by. You and your family have been an inspiration to all and Clark will always be very missed.

Email Me: said...

I have been following this blog for quite awhile now. I had really high hopes for your brother's recovery. When I read your words on this post it reminded me again of my brother that I lost and all those same things I had to take care of. I am still the proud owner of men's cologne that never gets used, or I should say I spray it on one of his t-shirt's when I am really missing him. Every once in while I go through his box of paperwork and see all of the extra death certificates I had ordered to take care of his bills after he was gone. I miss him terribly. My sons were boen after he died and it hurts to know that they can't play & grow with their uncle. I feel for you and your family. After 5 years I still hear, "Sorry about your brother.", and the pain stings now as much as it did then. I hope the things you are doing now, bring you and your family comfort.

andrea said...

That was beautiful, Kristin.

Wow. Can't believe how fast time goes by. My facebook account feels empty without updating on Clark's condition.

Here's my reminder: Give me a call if you ever need someone to babysit. For free. :-)

Also, if there still are extra shirts, I'd love one, and I know of a few others who'd like one as well (five shirts, at least) I'll pick them up from you.

The House that James Built said...

this was such a good post. you are such a good sister. WOW. all that you have done for him has only increased the love you have for him...also making the pain of missing him so much greater.

loves! we hope to make it to the balloon release.

xoxo
lizzie

Kallie Christine said...

Beautiful post, Kristin.

Kallie Iverson

Fletcher Kimble said...

I miss you so much clark.I wish i could talk to you one more time.I'm always thinking of you and dad and I can't wait till I can see you both again.I love you!

Anonymous said...

"Facebook says it's been awhile and wants me to reconnect with you."
I hate this... it happens all to frequently. But at the same time when it happens, I always remember a good time we shared together.. and it brings me peace. And some day I will reconnect with him.. and it will be a bright and happy day. Hang in there Kristen.. we are all here for you! We all miss him!

Jolene Johnston said...

I just checked out the Super Clark blog.......and I cried....I read the "Constant reminders that you're gone" Isn't it all so true! Well said Kristin :'( I know I don;t check the blog everyday, but I check in often to see any updates. Take Care....and know that you and the family are thought of often.

Sheryl Johnson said...

Super Clark lives..I didn't know him but I wish I had ,what a strong and loving young man you are..God is with you now and what a bright light you have given us...!!

Nathanael Hernandez said...

Kristin, Clark was blessed to have had a sister like you. He still lives.

Mariah Facio-Trejo said...

I remember him when he was only 4 I think..His brother Ryan and I went to school together.I remember Clark as a quiet stinker, who was super sneaky. He was such a cute kid. I am sorry that he left this world but happy there is no more suffering and off he went to the next place to be with his heavenly Father. This family will always be in my prayers.

Jackie VanDamme Abel said...

You and your mom really should collaborate on a book/let for those facing death and/or dealing with the grief. You are absolutely right about the things we often find mundane or boring or even don't really think about in our life each day ...are the things that remind us most about the loved ones who have passed. I still have cell #'s of friends and family on my phone - just can't seem to cut that last tie. Thanks for taking the time to let us all who only knew Clark through the blog know how you all are doing. You seem to have the most incredible family.